Lose the Tude

I apologize for the lack of posts. I visited home this past weekend and simply did not want to use my vacation time in front of my computer. However, my flight back to Atlanta this afternoon warrants a post, maybe two. Flying is something I don't necessarily love, but I have to do it. Going to the bathroom on an airplane is never enjoyable and I try to avoid it at all costs. Today though I was an idiot and didn't make a pit stop before boarding the plan. Halfway through the flight I really had to go and just downed a soda. There was no amount of crossing my legs or readjusting that helped my bladder. Of course, the illuminated seat belt sign had been on for the past thirty minutes and now the pilot announced our initial decent into the Atlanta area. This was my last chance before I ran into bigger problems. I polity asked (as if I was a huge inconvenience to my seat mates) to move aside as I tried to avoid any personal leg or ass contact. As soon as the three of us stood up a flight attendant immediately barked at me "Where are you going?!" And in a slow and calm voice with question inflection I responded "The restroom...?" This short hobbit looking women grabbed my empty soda can and with a snooty sarcastic voice said "The pilot just announce landing orders, great time to get up." I was completely shocked that this flight attendant had just said these things to me. I laughed under my breath as my entire attitude of flight attendants changed in that single moment. How dare she speak to me that way. We pay more and more every time we fly and receive less and less. Not only did I not receive the stale peanuts, but now I was exposed to the wrath of some unhappy hobbit that hated her life.

To complete the scene I walked to the back of the plan replaying in my mind what had just happened and as I reach the next attendant she picks up the PA and announces that everyone needs to remain seated. When I finally approach her she makes a motion of "There you go" as she rudely displayed the lavatory to me with a smile that should have been smacked off of her face. Needless to say I responded with a I'm better than you smile and entered the miniature bathroom. I was now pissed off and took my time and slowly walked back to my seat. When I sat back down I commented to my seat mates, who where also recovering from the shocking remarks, that the attendants were acting like the plane was in mid-landing. We chuckled loudly as the the hobbit hobbled by collecting used cups from passengers.